The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F Book Wikipedia

Mark Manson, Author of "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck," came upward with his best-selling concept that not giving a fuck is actually the key to happiness past accident. He was writing a blog about finding meaning, receiving thousands of emails from people, and began noticing that a lot of their suffering was derived from simply prioritizing and valuing the wrong things. "I was experimenting with different ways to approach the idea that happiness is all about irresolute your values," Manson says. "When I wrote an article almost the subtle art of non giving a fuck, people loved it and shared it with their friends. And then I stuck with that and used it for the book."

How You Tin can Cull to be Happier

Source: HarperOne

According to Manson, caring less tin can actually pb to more happiness. It's all well-nigh the choices nosotros make about what to care about. He uses his own life every bit an example. "I was a large political party guy in my twenties, and kind of a playboy besides," he explains. "I adopted a lot of values and goals that were fairly superficial and, in many cases, cocky-destructive. They looked cool and sounded sexy on the surface, but underneath there was no existent meaning going on, merely a lot of escapism. My life was most racking up these checklists of 'cool' stuff I had done."

After a number of years, Manson'southward life began to experience empty. That'due south when he started getting introspective about what he had been choosing to care most and what it was actually getting him. Ultimately, that led to an understanding of the difference betwixt emotional highs and true happiness.

"About people chase highs," Manson explains. "Highs make you feel skilful. They sound fun. They impress people. Happiness is harder. Happiness requires struggle and colorlessness and sacrifice. Real happiness comes from discovering a sense of importance in one'south actions and in one'southward life."

Eight Things That People Intendance Way Likewise Much Virtually

According to Manson, some of the most common things people care fashion too much about include:

1. Impressing other people
2. Being correct all the fourth dimension
3. Being "successful"
4. Being pleasant and polite
5. Existence happy
6. Feeling adept all the fourth dimension
7. Being "perfect"
8. Feeling secure and certain

"When we intendance too much well-nigh these things, we spend nigh of our time fugitive our problems rather than dealing with them," Manson says. "We showtime caring way also much nearly that new Idiot box show, or how many likes nosotros're getting on Facebook, or what our mother will recall of our new firm found. These are bad values that turn us into frivolous people."

So, how do we change our values? The first stride, according to Manson, is to get real about what we honestly do care about — non what we think nosotros should care almost.

Figure Out What You lot Honestly Intendance About

Here's Manson's simple litmus test in figuring out what yous honestly intendance about: actions never lie. You may, for example, say your kids mean everything in the world to you, and even want that to be true. But if yous're neglecting to option them up from schoolhouse because there's a sale going on at the mall, that's an indication your values may lie elsewhere.

"The first pace in making meliorate choices is to simply be brutally honest well-nigh your own behavior to yourself," Manson explains. "What are the choices you lot are making? How are y'all spending your time? What are you lot neglecting that you shouldn't? Initially, your tendency volition be to try to pin these decisions on other people or circumstances. But ultimately, the choice is always yours."

Here's the good news/bad news: You are always choosing what to value more, moment by moment. And, co-ordinate to Manson, that's how modify happens — slowly, moment by moment, with every option yous brand.

Choose to Care Virtually MORE

According to Manson, once yous get clear nearly what you actually care most (and stop crying, because chances are, it volition hurt to admit), the next step is to inquire, "What if?"

Kickoff with hypotheticals, such equally:

• What if I didn't care about that auction at the mall? What would my behavior be?
• What if I didn't care so much about impressing the people at work, what decisions I would make?
• What if I didn't care so much well-nigh my sex life, how would I carry?

"Spend some time thinking well-nigh these 'what ifs,'" Manson suggests. "Write down these scenarios if you need to. Imagine a world that exists with different values and see how your behaviors would be dissimilar."

Just Do It!

The terminal stride in choosing to requite up caring about the things that don't actually matter and changing your values is to have action. "Y'all volition fail a number of times—and that's fine," Manson says. "The point is to go along doing it until your behaviors line upwards with your new values."

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Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/one-true-thing/201612/new-book-the-subtle-art-not-giving-fck

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